#community – Page 23 – Revenge of Eve

Ground Zero

An inventory of where I stand mentally, financially, and spiritually going into 2k19

I decided to take inventory of where I stand mentally, financially, and spiritually, giving me something to measure. I suppose I could add emotionally to the mix as well because it plays a vital role in our lives.

My current situation does not reflect any growth from 2018. In fact, it seems that I have gone backward. Originally I was on a 5-year plan. I accomplished all of my goals for four years even though I wasted a year and a half because I was still drinking. 2018 was the 5th year on this plan.

My goal was to be moved out of my mother’s home and into a place of my own. While I didn’t necessarily fail at this, it will not be happening. My mother’s health is not in tip-top shape. She has COPD, a hernia, and three ulcers that prevent her from eating certain foods and lifting heavy objects. She doesn’t have health insurance because she makes too much to get government-funded insurance yet not enough to be able to afford health care. She will qualify for Medicaid in two years.

She has been forced to the doctors because of pain and an inability to work but that only made her temporarily well. My fear is that as soon as I move out she will need me to move back in. I help with some of the finances around the house which takes a little off her plate but not nearly enough. She and I decided that it would be best if I stay. I feel that I have failed somewhat because I should be contributing more. It is my plan to give her at least $100 more a month in 2019.

Financially

Yes, that is a picture of my actual bank account. Don’t feel sorry for me, it is after Christmas. By the looks of this, I am starting my year off at ground zero which isn’t bad in some instances. I mean, where can I go from here? Only up, right? I keep the majority of my money in little cash envelopes in a drawer in my room but that’s not where my money is. I am broke starting the year off.

From a financial standpoint, I have always made money on a daily basis and have lived to pay my bills this way. In 2018 I accumulated my first ever savings and it totaled a whopping $3,000.00. That is a lot of money for someone who makes $2.15 an hour. It’s crazy the amount of work I do for that hourly rate and the disrespect I put up with for that matter. I do make tips but using yesterday as an example, I had two tables that didn’t tip me and guess what? I pay taxes on my sales reported on my checkout at the end of the shift. Basically, when you do not tip your server, they pay, double. No complaints, I’ve done this for 20+ years. Moving on…

Spiritually

This year is one of being honest with myself and it starts here. I have been being pulled toward being able to define my God. My God. Not the one who has a beard and sports long, wavy hair. The picture of my God is golden and that is as far as I’ve gotten. I also cringe when I hear or see the word God because my account is attached to the organized religion God. Ya know the punishing God who doesn’t allow Baptist’s to dance, the one who condemns people to hell for loving the same sex… I am changing the name God to Her so if you read any post further from here and read me talk about Her, that is what I am referring to.

I know that my God has big things in store for me not by way of money but by way of peace by helping others because that is what my soul has been sent here to do. I do not ever discuss this out of fear that it will scare others away but it is my truth. I have a gift and sense things others don’t and this year I will be tuning into the intuition that I have run from for a long time.

Mentally

Ok, I’ll admit. I have been off my meds for about a month and a half. Everything was going smoothly until a few days ago. The culprit is pms. It is common for people who suffer from bipolar, women, to experience terrible premenstrual symptoms related to increased levels of estrogen. With that said I felt a familiar enemy rise. Anger.

If you are new to these parts, I have a terrible anger problem that has caused me tremendous anguish and humiliation. Not so much fun when you try your hardest to not let it surface. Anyway, I have since taken one dose of my medication and am lucky it is instant. You ask why I quit taking, well, because I don’t like feeling like a zombie. I have been in a more comatose state on different meds and these aren’t nearly as bad as others but I am wanting to approach my mental health from a more natural perspective. BUT I recognize I probably need to take my medication first and then begin a journey of naturalness later down the road.

Emotionally

Going into 2019 from ground zero gives me ample opportunity to grow as a person, explore my creativity, help others in need, and expand my horizon. I will do so through forgiving eyes and loving heart. I am going to say no and not feel bad about it. Keeping in mind that I do not have to do anything except what advances me and my daughter. I have a tendency to volunteer my time to solve other peoples problems and that isn’t their fault, doing so continues to hold me back from solving my own.

Do an inventory of your situation and share with me in the comments. I would love to hear from you. Chat with me through email if that feels more comfortable.

When I Becomes We: Creative Planning

The final hours until the new year. Do you have a plan?

Hey You Busy Bee’s

This will be our last post before the new year arrives! Today we will be discussing breaking our plans down further but also what it means to creative plan. I cannot wait to see what y’all come up with.

By The Hour

If any of you struggle with focusing this will be a great idea for you to try. I have used this technique for about two weeks and my productivity has skyrocketed! It is called block scheduling and it.is.amazing!

The original idea is called the Pomodoro technique. Wikipedia defines it…

“The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. These intervals are named pomodoros, the anglicized plural of the Italian word Pomodoro(tomato), after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer that Cirillo used as a university student“.

Many people have used this technique and have claimed their success on behalf of it. For myself, I choose to block more than 25 minutes because it seems to take me a few minutes to get focused on the task at hand but also for purposes of not having to set multiple timers. I begin a task at the beginning of the hour, work 45 minutes and then the last 15 minutes of the hour is my break between.

Here is an example of what my daily schedule looks like by the hour.

Creative Planning

Creative planning is where people use stickers, art, colored highlights, tabs, charts, specialty stickers, watercolors… Artsy mediums to decorate their plans. There is a crazy creative planning community and I love them! They are very supportive of one another. There are many Etsy shops that cater to this type of planning.

You can purchase printable undated calendars and add them to your system with lots of room for decorating. Each week is decorated in what is called a spread. You can find millions of examples on Instagram. Type planner community into the search bar and watch the beautiful, overcrowded planner pages pop up. This helps a lot of people to dedicate time to their planning and really look at it because let’s face it, a pretty page full of stickers is more welcoming than a blank calendar.

I’m not certain of any specific guidelines for creative planning so I just follow the beat of my own drum and do whatever it is that makes me happy.

I encourage you to do the same. It helps you stay mindful, alleviates stress, reduces anxiety and the results are nice to look at. If you can’t draw, they have stencils you can use. I use journaling cards in mine. I cut them out and glue them to my pages. I mix stickers, magazine clippings, stencils, stamping to create my own style. You should too.

*remember not to compare yours to others*

Another thing I did for this year, I created a vision board. I used the front of the January separator in my planner. The paper is sturdy cardstock that holds up nicely. I added elements that all brought together to show what I want to bring to life in 2019. I am going to do another one June, halfway through the year and see how the two align. I opted to do this to make sure I am staying on target with the three goals originally set.

If you have never made a vision board, it is quite simple. It’s basically collaging but with intention. You find words or images that describe what you want to attract into your life and paste them on a poster board or you can do as I did and use the sturdier pages in your planner. I have a few more words I intend to add to mine. Discover must find it’s way on my board, love and a few others will be glued on somewhere.

It is suggested to focus on what you are creating because the energy you put in will be the energy you receive. I didn’t do mine as intently but I did enjoy the process. Will you give it a go? If so, snap a shot and drop it in the comments.

I struggle with focusing and will need to make sure I am staying on track. I painted a reminder sign and framed it. It sits right by my desk and says, “one idea at a time”.

And now for accountability purposes, here are my three target goals for 2019:

Be more present (more specifically, as a mom).
Define who I am, using three adjectives.
Heal from past hurt and forgive ~~where needed.~~

Have you set your three?

Please do share your 2019 goals with me!! I would love to hear them. Are you setting any blogging goals in 2019? I am not setting any blogging goals this year. I will continue to find and develop my voice. I will not have the time to market my blog but I do intend to grow my email list and sell my handmade products. How do you plan to achieve your resolution or goals? Will you be joining me on my journey? If not, share your strategy. I may wanna follow you or borrow a few ideas. Anything helps.

Ps. I must add to this that I also use digital calendars set with reminders to keep me up to date. I recommend finding your system. The paper and pen technique is something I find calming. It helps keep my attention whereas technology disrupts my course of action.

With my new laptop, there is a focus mode to which you set to decrease distraction from mindless scrolling. I haven’t yet tried it but will come the new year.

2019 Challenge

A Challenge for Happiness, Inspiration & Balance

As it always happens when we put it out in the universe that we want or need something it will show up in many ways and it becomes our responsibility to act on it. I don’t know about you but there have been times that I have silently begged for change and to my surprise hundreds of avenues open up for me to initiate the change. Let me be honest, no matter how bad I may have wanted it, fear holds me back from taking advantage of the opportunities I plead for.

This is the case 85% of the time for me, happening more than I’d like to admit. But guess what? It is this fear that I want to escape and I am taking things for what they are. This challenge was presented to me by the universe and it is something I vouch to complete. There I said it!! You are now given permission to stay on my ass and make sure I am consistent in posting each weeks challenges….I know, I know …. I am not holding you responsible nor do you have to adult-sit me but giving you such permission gives me something to be accountable to. Ya see?? 🙂

So, what is it already?? My mother and I were shopping (surprise) and I just so happened to find my way to the stationery aisle in TJ Maxx (another surprise). Low and behold, after I over turn each and every notebook, journal, planner, calendar….you get the picture, appears a book titled “52 Lists for Happiness”. WHAT??? and as I realize what this is, my sign, I pick it up and turn a few pages. I rub my hand across a page to feel the texture, I admire the illustrations so carefully drawn, and then I check the price. $10.00. Not needing to spend any money on myself because I have spent my savings, Christmas is right around the corner, and I have bills due soooo I do what any adult-child would do…. I show it to my mom and with a pitiful pout I say, “I really shouldn’t get this but it is exactly what I need to accomplish my goals in 2019″. Yes, really. I am that 40-year old. Pathetic, right?! It was my birthday too but it wasn’t that I wanted or needed her to buy it, I just needed her to make it ok for me to spend the $10.00. Honestly, I should view it as an investment because it is for the bettering, I hope.

Walking through the store, with it in hand, I do what any cheap, shopaholic would do, I look for it on Amazon. 🙂 I weigh my options, I haven’t invested in Prime, (why? no excuse, no excuse) with shipping it totals about the same price. I read two reviews and then silently cuss myself out in my head. “Seriously Candace? Get it together!! This has the possibility to lead you to yourself and omg isn’t that what you want?”. I buy the book.

52 Lists for Happiness

By: Moorea Seal

Weekly journaling

Inspiration for Positivity,

Balance, and Joy

From what I gathered the author is a blogger, ok see…. you seeing the signs yet?, and she has formed a community of fans that participate in this challenge each year. Amazing, right? Yes, just agree. In the preface of the journal/guided book she suggests using the #52HappyLists hashtag on social media to find others who are working their way through the book. Considering I am setting myself free from (most) social media, I will not be hashtagging publicly but I will use it on my blog!! Brilliant! My fellow bloggers that are unhappy, bored, and needing change can do this together!! Sounds amazing and I hope you join. Encourage other to join too but do not look for the hashtag elsewhere because it will not coincide with the edition we are doing. Like we all know, I am notoriously late for the show and with this being no exception. WE, tee-hee, will be doinggggggg the 2016 version of #52HappyLists. 🙂 We are only three years behind. Not bad.

Here is how it will go down.

Every Monday morning, like wicked early morning, the list of the week will be published by the handy scheduler. How early? Hmmmm, let’s say it will “go live” at 2:00 am every Monday morning, Central American time. From there you can do whatever the hell you want with it. You can keep it to yourself, you can blast it on your blog, you can email me, post it on your fridge, share with your co-workers…….WHATEVER makes you…… drum roll….. HAPPY!! BUT, always a but, give credit where credit is due. How so?

First and foremost credit the author of the book: Moorea Seal because legally, you have to and morally because you don’t wanna be a shitty person. Her work is copyright
Link to the beautiful post I publish each week 😉 Don’t know how? Ask and I will explain. Invite your friends. Let’s have happy feeds in 2019. Can you imagine the mental health community…happy? It would be a beautiful thing. Why? because we fuck’n deserve it.
Use the hashtag #52HappyLists and #achallengeforhappiness, please
And last but not least…. enjoy this challenge. Integrate it into your life. Allow it to make small changes in your day, welcome it. We are worth it ya’ll and that is what I have come to know in my heart. Everyone of us is worthy, including me.

I honestly haven’t even flipped through the book so I don’t know what will be presented each week but what I do know is I am full of hope and I would be so excited if you joined me in this challenge. What could it hurt? If you don’t enjoy it, stop at any time.

Chow!!! This begins January 7, 2019 ……… subscribe using the pop-up to receive insider info 😉