Attitude Adjustment

Just when I think my depression is waning, it waxes. Ugh! Since September of 21, I have been battling laziness. As soon as I overcome my laziness in pops depression. Why? Is it the heat? Is it the never-ending demands of my job? Is it the new puppy we adopted? Or is it simply the way depression operates? I’ll never know for certain but I think it’s a combination of it all. You would think that I would have accepted it by now. Accepted that bipolar depression is not something that I can control. I can, however, look after my mindset and my outlook. Sure it’s difficult but it makes a world of difference.

I am grateful for:

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Creativity

A roof over my head

Air conditioning in my home and in my car (it’s fixed🤗)

Hope in my heart

Compassion

And last but not least,

my job.

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I have been having creative spurts that I am using to make a coworker a journal. Her birthday is in November and me carrying my notebook prompted her to share that she too likes to write. So…what better gift than a handmade journal, right? I will make sure to take pics of the final product to show y’all. I wish I had done that with the others I have gifted. In total, I’ve made about 15. Two of the fifteen were ordered while the remaining 13 were given as gifts. The most typical response I’ve received is, I don’t want to mess it up!! Everyone is afraid to add their artwork to them so with that in mind I made this one with bare bones and included matching papers for use by the new owner. Problem solved. I hope.

I have a three-bedroom, two-bath home with 2 acres of land. It is made a home having Mister, two pups, and a cat. We live in a state that has many days of heat advisory so having central heat and air conditioning is a must. We are fortunate to have it because not everyone does. You may remember me saying that my car’s a.c. was acting up. It is now working making my drive to work tolerable.

Despite the weight of depression, I have hope in my heart for better days. This hope extends beyond my depression. It reminds me that with compassion for myself and others I will survive. And last on my list, work. I am grateful to be employed and to pay my bills on time. Work is more stressful than not but I push through each shift with a smile on my face. Sometimes my smile will drop but I do my best to remember that the shift doesn’t last forever. We are short-staffed. This inevitably puts more strain on the existing staff. Working in the restaurant business comes with its own struggles so adding more work presents a difficult dynamic. It seems a vicious cycle that my employer can’t seem to get ahead of.

This practice of gratitude helped shift my attitude from blah to grateful. Some days this practice isn’t easy. Yeah, it’s easy to write a list but to truly honor that list you’ve got to sit with it. I am fortunate in many ways that when I am feeling cheated or slighted I have plenty to remind myself of. Just having my basic needs met is enough to cherish. Do you ever find yourself in a rut of ungratefulness? What helps you to appreciate what you have?

Until next time

xoxo

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Monday Morning Mantra

Welcome to Revenge of Eve’s

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Each Monday I shuffle and draw two cards from two sources, a box set and a deck. The box set boasts encouragement, self-love, goals and focus while the deck affirms our individual power. I then use the two cards to guide me throughout the week. I place the cards on my refrigerator as a visual reference and I write them daily in my journal as written reference. If I find myself experiencing unwanted emotions or challenging thoughts I refer to the cards drawn. I have found this to be an empowering and powerful exercise. One that I decided to share with my readers.

Affirmation

Encouragement

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This week the cards are pretty self-explanatory. It is my hope that you use them this week to affirm your peace and encourage kindness. If you find yourself in an unfortunate argument or misunderstanding, take a step back…breathe…and release the need to be right. Perhaps the other party is having a rough day. Take the context clues of the situation and evaluate if you can step down, have some compassion, or be kind enough to yourself to walk away. There are many circumstances to where you can apply action to this weeks affirmation. Hone in on mindfulness and buckle down with kindness. You’ll be sure to have a wonderful week.

What challenges can you apply action to this week? Can you expand your display of kindness to yourself this week?

7 Things I’ve Learned in 7 Years of Sobriety

7 years sober!

Typing that seems surreal. For the seventh anniversary of my sobriety I thought I would conjure a nifty list that may help those new to sobriety. Below you will find seven things I’ve learned in seven years of sobriety.

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For clarity sake, when I say alcoholic that includes drug addicts too. Alcohol is a drug. Vice versa.

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Live life on life’s terms

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This is said throughout the sober community as a way of expressing the acceptance of loss of control. The reality is our control is limited and sparse. Living life on life’s terms is a cliche way of saying accept what you cannot control.

The desire fades

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The desire to use or drink fades with time. This isn’t to say that there will not be difficult days full of triggers rather the more time away from your substance of choice, the less you will have cravings.

The world continues to turn

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Unfortunately just because we quit drinking doesn’t mean that anyone else will. The reality is there will be people you will come into contact with who will not understand your allergy to alcohol. Same with the sell of alcohol. It will continue in the form of advertising, sports viewing events, and bbq’s.

This too shall pass

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The agony of a sober life will lessen as you continue on your journey. The resentments will be resolved, the regrets fade, and genuine apologies are accepted. The pain of your drunken actions will soon be a distant memory.

One is never enough

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It’s simple. Keep it that way.

A drink/drug is never the answer

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You end up where you were when you left off. Period. It isn’t fun. Not for an alcoholic.

Normal is boring

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Basically.

If you are new to sobriety, congrats! It gets less painful, I promise. Keep your head up. And most importantly, keep it simple. Thank you to all of you for your continued support along my journey. Without it I wouldn’t have made it this far.

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Monday Morning Mantra

Good morning ladies & gents.

Monday Morning Mantra

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Each Monday I shuffle and draw two cards from two sources, a box set and a deck. The box set boasts encouragement, self-love, goals and focus while the deck affirms our individual power. I then use the two cards to guide me throughout the week. I place the cards on my refrigerator as a visual reference and I write them daily in my journal as written reference. If I find myself experiencing unwanted emotions or challenging thoughts I refer to the cards drawn. I have found this to be an empowering and powerful exercise. One that I decided to share with my readers.

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Week of March 21-March 28

I hope this Monday finds y’all well. This week’s encouragement reminds us the importance of breath work. If you find yourself frustrated, confused, or angry, find your center again by taking deep breaths. For so long I thought just breathe meant others dealt with things better than me when really breathing assist in regulating emotions. Give it a try!!

Encouragement
Box set by Dayna Lee

When an unwanted emotion arises, take a full 60 seconds to yourself. During this minute take slow breaths in and exhale. I find placing my hand over my heart helps me focus on the breath. By the end of the 60 seconds I can tell a significant difference in my heart rate and the way I feel. The important part of this breathing exercise is to allow the emotion but encourage it to pass. Do not focus on how you feel rather the breath itself. You may find it difficult to stop your thoughts but do not allow yourself to ruminate. This exercise works for everyone and it is simple enough to give a try. Once you experience it’s power, you will find yourself harnessing power through breath work.

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Best part about the affirmation that was drawn today is it encourages awareness which is what breathing brings about. Embracing your power through breathing exercises is empowering. Learning to do so takes practice not perfection. A friendly reminder that it is I (insert you) who is in control.

Affirmation
Deck by Gabrielle Bernstein

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Donate

A young lady, Anastasia, reached out to me via email. She is raising money to escape Russia with her family. She asked if I could place an ad on my website to promote her fundraising. I do not offer ad placement at this time so I included her link in todays post to gain some exposure. Unfortunately, I am not in a position to donate myself. I encourage any of you reading this to decide if this is a cause you can contribute to. Thank you for your considerations.

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Do you practice mediation breathing? Do affirmations help guide you? Comment below if you find these weekly cards helpful. I love hearing from you ☺️

Stream of Conscious

And if I say, Don’t get tripped up by words, she does the opposite. What good does it do to suggest to someone what they should, could, or must do?

Free will. Is it the blue or the red pill? A suggestion, recommendation, or instruction. If fear has its way, a plot for destruction.

Simply a bias, an experience, or foreshadowing. A casual being. Perhaps a gleaming projection with ample protection.

Direction is given but can not be expected to be taken. The stillness of delusion compromises confusion. Where’s the inclusion? She insists it’s an illusion.

Forsaken of a past, she implies none of this last. She views at half-mass. Her cup frighten to overflow. Cherish uncertainty she forego.

An imagination takes her where she wants to go. A calm demeanor shields a chaotic interior. Inferior. She distorts. Herself she contorts.

A plot. A plan. Incessant thoughts. She awaits rescue from her mind’s quicksand. One woman’s territory. An escape. Or a trap. Answer that.

One

Alone

Not suffering

No loneliness to convey

Nothing to display

Only I

Here today

Party of one

Without shame

Solo

Uno

One

I say

No limitations

No compromise

No injustice

No surprise

Just me by my side

Conversations, plenty

Arguments,

None

When it’s over I say

It’s done

Single

Solidarity

Engage

I am one

Some 2022 Artwork

As you may know, I am an avid journaler. About three years ago I set out to discover my artistic style. While I haven’t exactly uncovered what mine is, I did reveal my love for all things paper. Being a writer I focused part of this time on changing my writing style to foster a more hopeful, encouraging style of documenting. I also came across art journaling and junk journals along with many others like glue books.

My initial vision toyed with selling handmade journals but that idea killed any creativity I had. I removed that option and dedicated myself to making things that showcase the papers of life that I collect in a years time. This can also include papers I’ve bought or sourced from estate sales, antique shops, or off shoot pieces I’ve been given.

My current work in progress is a handmade glue book with the theme women and flowers. It will house my admiration for women and flowers as well as my creative explorations including women and flowers. I’m quite stoked about this project. And I thought I could share my progress. I hope you enjoy.

The cover

Page 1 and 2

I include journaling on inserts of paper. In the photo above the yellow ticket has journaling on the back of it. This discloses my new job details and holiday happenings. It is simply tucked into the left edge of the first page.

Images here include magazine, a vintage year book, and an encyclopedia book page with an interactive flap.

A pocket holding a vintage photo from 1937 and journaling. The pocket is from a journal dedicated to the discovery of plants/flowers.

A Victorian die cut of a young lady collaged on top of an old water bill receipt on vintage drawing paper

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Let me know if you enjoy these creative showcases. If you do, I can share more photos more often.