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A General Life Update

‘Ello!

How are you?? Thanks for stopping in today for a little life update. It’s been a while. As the Memorial Day holiday has passed, songs of summer are being sung. Birds corral our bird feeder, the tree frogs sing us to sleep, and the highways are bumper to bumper with travelers. It appears that society is waking up after two years of isolation. At least that is how the buzz feels to me. Alive.

That is how I feel.

Alive


My S.A.D. season is in the rear view mirror and I … made it through unscathed. No deaths, accidents, or tragedy (except Ukraine situation). My personal scope of life is expanding after months of hibernation. I feel well rested and ready to take advantage of the summer however possible. Over the last month or so we’ve potted multiple plants, maintained the yard, and have added small touches of landscaping. The smallest detail makes a world of difference.

Biggest news is the addition to our family!! We rescued a puppy. Like literally off the side of the road. Someone abandoned her and we rescued not long after. I say that because she wasn’t in distress, matted, or exhausted when we found her. We put out posters with her picture on it to no avail. Three weeks after fostering her I decided to take her to a local no-kill shelter. Fast forward to the day I was scheduled to drop her and I couldn’t. We had already fallen in love. Maggie aka Moo is a mix of life, mischief, and love. She has been received with love.

It’s already hot here in Louisiana and my car ac has started to act up. Last April while dashing I flooded my car in a torrential downpour. I am lucky to know a mechanic that was able to salvage my car because neither my insurance or DoorDash would cover the accident. Long story but I was screwed nonetheless. Now a year later and my ac works when it wants to and in Louisiana that equals misery. It isn’t something I can just deal with by rolling the windows down. My medication raises my body temperature making it dangerous for me to get too hot. Fingers crossed I get it fixed sooner than later.

My sister got married on the 14th of May and it was a beautiful ceremony filled with love. Guests enjoyed the deejay, dancing the night away. The kids stayed at the photo booth printing photos of themselves with silly props. The bride and the groom mingled and took tons of photos! It was the event of the century🤓 So now I have a brother-in-law!

There is a lot that has happened and I’m sure they will come to mind after I publish this post ☺️ I’ll go ahead and wrap it up here. I hope you are enjoying the series Monday Morning Mantra. If you want more frequent life updates, subscribe to receive the Garden newsletter.

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A Benchmark: 1,000 Followers

Thank You to All Who have Joined my Journey


I must admit, I wasn’t sure this day would happen. There have been times I was close to 1,000 and then followers dropped. I never sought out why. I just assumed bots played a role so I wished them farewell. July marks five years for R.O.E. and I would be lying if I didn’t disclose inept feelings of failure as far as growing a following are concerned. However, the gratitude I have for the intimate, engaged community that follows my journey far outweighs the insidious low self-esteem that occasionally creeps in.


Thank you to all 1,008 of you who follow!


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Transitioning

Struggling to Transition

If you are new to this camp, I have been dying to transition careers. It’s been three years and I’ve not been successful. And I have a year and a half left to go. It is my goal to be out of the food and beverage industry by time I am 45. At this point I think it’s safe to say fear is holding me back.

I’ve been looking for work from home jobs in line with customer service but job sites are ridiculous. They rope you into submitting your email address for multiple sites and redirect you and loop you and…you get the picture.

The other day I decided to stretch because I have been feeling stiff and just from doing neck rolls, I have paid a price. I suppose I am holding stress in my neck and when I stretched it released the toxins leaving me sore as all get out. It feels like something popped on the left side of my neck, in the shoulder area leaving me in agonizing pain. No fun. I am ready to wake up and feel like myself. This ongoing yuck I’ve been in needs to disappear. I have run out of ideas for combating it. And believe me, I’ve been creative.

The culmination of what seems like my life has to be the beginning of my S.A.D. Yay. I suppose the quicker it comes, the quicker it goes. April is typically the worst month. It’s creeping up. I feel as though I am taking it all actually quite well considering the weight of it all. Exhale. I remind myself. Exhale.

Perhaps I will turn this type of post into a weekly wrap up type series. I like to categorize my ramblings.

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Hi! It’s me, Candace

Monday Morning Mantra

Good morning ladies & gents.

Monday Morning Mantra


Each Monday I shuffle and draw two cards from two sources, a box set and a deck. The box set boasts encouragement, self-love, goals and focus while the deck affirms our individual power. I then use the two cards to guide me throughout the week. I place the cards on my refrigerator as a visual reference and I write them daily in my journal as written reference. If I find myself experiencing unwanted emotions or challenging thoughts I refer to the cards drawn. I have found this to be an empowering and powerful exercise. One that I decided to share with my readers.


Week of March 21-March 28

I hope this Monday finds y’all well. This week’s encouragement reminds us the importance of breath work. If you find yourself frustrated, confused, or angry, find your center again by taking deep breaths. For so long I thought just breathe meant others dealt with things better than me when really breathing assist in regulating emotions. Give it a try!!

Just breathe graphic
Encouragement
Box set by Dayna Lee

When an unwanted emotion arises, take a full 60 seconds to yourself. During this minute take slow breaths in and exhale. I find placing my hand over my heart helps me focus on the breath. By the end of the 60 seconds I can tell a significant difference in my heart rate and the way I feel. The important part of this breathing exercise is to allow the emotion but encourage it to pass. Do not focus on how you feel rather the breath itself. You may find it difficult to stop your thoughts but do not allow yourself to ruminate. This exercise works for everyone and it is simple enough to give a try. Once you experience it’s power, you will find yourself harnessing power through breath work.


Best part about the affirmation that was drawn today is it encourages awareness which is what breathing brings about. Embracing your power through breathing exercises is empowering. Learning to do so takes practice not perfection. A friendly reminder that it is I (insert you) who is in control.

I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal graphic
Affirmation
Deck by Gabrielle Bernstein

Donate

A young lady, Anastasia, reached out to me via email. She is raising money to escape Russia with her family. She asked if I could place an ad on my website to promote her fundraising. I do not offer ad placement at this time so I included her link in todays post to gain some exposure. Unfortunately, I am not in a position to donate myself. I encourage any of you reading this to decide if this is a cause you can contribute to. Thank you for your considerations.


Do you practice mediation breathing? Do affirmations help guide you? Comment below if you find these weekly cards helpful. I love hearing from you ☺️

A Little Bit of This and That

👋 Hiya

Late February and early March I was struggling with my outlook on life. I am happy to announce that I have turned a corner and no longer see things too pessimistically. I was beginning to worry as Spring is the worst for my S.A.D. (Seasonal depressive disorder). I’m not in the clear yet but things are looking up.

I missed Monday Morning Mantra this week because I didn’t wake up until 2:45 pm which is insanity! That was followed by more sleep as I slept through the night. I knew when I woke Tuesday morning that I could not make it to work. I called in and took my butt to the doctor. After two shots in the hip and two scripts, I am feeling more like myself. I have been able to find the motivation to take care of some personal tasks such as getting new tires and paying my car note. Each of which is gratifying yet sucks.

Despite my crabbiness and illness, I am relatively hopeful. I no longer feel weighed down by boredom. For that I am grateful. Now on to taking care of taxes. Meh. I didn’t file 2020’s taxes because I didn’t work but I did get unemployment so I will file that with this year’s measly earnings. That’s always fun.

I’ve recently thought about participating in Blogging from A-Z which begins in April. I read the instructions and it seems simple enough but I do not believe I have the time to dedicate to it although that’s my reason for wanting to give it a go; to make time for blogging. I’ve slacked a lot when it comes to blogging. My analog system has become my primary writing space which I wrangled for years to upkeep but now that that is routine, blogging has taken a backseat. As I read over this update I realize that I severely lack any focus. That can be a big contributor to why I’ve not been blogging much as well. I don’t like being all over the map and I have been for some time now.

I have had a difficult adjusting period with my new medication. It works. So good I could be the posterchild of advertising, however, I am void of any personality. I guess that is ok for the masses but I quite enjoy being a big personality so come next month I am going to chat with my GP about reducing my dose so I can feel a little more like myself. I’ve mentioned this before but April can’t seem to get here soon enough. That sentence alone I’ve never spoken as April has a reputation for taking me down, literally. Perhaps if I welcome it, it will be kinder to me. Who knows? We’ll see.

Happy St. Patty’s day graphic

As far as falling behind on blogging is concerned, I am happy to say that typing this post has helped me to be less hard on myself. The difference between an analog system and blogging is the editing aspect which apparently I need. Last September 2021, I entered the hospital to stabilize. I haven’t been hospitalized in 10 years. Immediately after discharge, I was scheduled for a hysterectomy. The procedure itself went smoothly but the healing time was extensive. I was released to work on November 8th and I obtained employment on the 10th. I had a somewhat lengthy training because my hire-on was in the midst of the holidays but once that was complete, I’ve been busting ass four days a week since then. I was hired on as part-time but it rarely feels like it because of the amount of work involved per shift. I feel my age more than ever. I made it through Christmas and New Year intact and have rolled into now March but not without exhaustion, obviously.

As I added today’s date to my journal, I was taken back that St. Patty’s Day crept up on me without my realizing it. My father is an Irish immigrant and traditionally I celebrated my heritage decked out in green and glam. Let’s not forget the alcohol I consumed to make my celebrating proper. Well, it has been six years since I’ve drank myself into oblivion in the name of being of Irish descent and for that, I am truly humbled. Next month marks seven years of sobriety from alcohol. That blows my mind. In my days of struggling to get sober, I found it best to not count my days of sobriety as I had a tendency to celebrate and then start over counting. A counterproductive system I had in place. When I did away with the counting I was able to accumulate enough days to finalize my sobriety. Now here I am a month shy of seven years and I have no words to describe the journey. Actually, I do but I fear someone in early sobriety reading this saying fuck it because of my experience so I’ll keep it to myself. I will say the outcome has been worth the arduous journey.

I suppose ultimately this post was for myself as I’ve worked through some things differently than I am able to in my journal. It’s a bit all over the place so if you didn’t make it to the end, I understand. I am working toward finding my center and I appreciate your reading despite the lack of purpose. I suppose this post is a great example of mental illness trying to find its normal. Its place in this world. And for those that struggle too, I hope this post shows you that you are not alone. Every day isn’t all bubbles and butterflies. Sometimes it is just editing.

How have you been getting along?? Are you ready for Spring?