Changing My Life (One Day At A Time)

Hello 2019

It is now the new year. So much pressure is put on the new year and I realized this as I scrolled through reading the posts of other bloggers. I am not putting that pressure on myself. I am aware that life happens and that I am not in control but I will do what I am capable of doing to pass on positivity and learn about myself in the process.

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January

I have set my goals for January. The target goal assigned to this month is: Be More Present (most significantly as a mom)

Keeping it simple they are:

1. Do not take my phone to the field (soccer).
2. One hour each time Kid is with me is to be spent with no technology
3. Journal daily

My secondary goals are:

1. Exercise 30 minutes a day. Not strenuous or exhaustive. Stretching is good.
2. Use the focus mode setting on my laptop.
3. Listen to a podcast about mindfulness. Do not do anything while listening.
4. Write a gratitude list every morning.

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Exercising

I did not list exercise as a goal to lose weight. I am at a good weight but I would like to tone the loose, hanging skin (as tears drop my eyes). I am no spring chicken and at 40 I need to keep momentum for health purposes. I am not one who is committed to eating healthy or exercising. I was gifted with decent enough genes that I haven’t worried about it. This isn’t to say that I’ve never been overweight because in my alcoholism I weighed a hearty 200 pounds. When I quit drinking I was able to shed 60 pounds pretty quickly. Shew but with that came flabby skin that I am self-conscious about. Well, I start today and will begin with stretching.

Podcast & Gratitude

Ok. I have been waiting with bated breath to share with y’all my absolute favorite podcast so far. I am new to the scene of podcasts so it is possible you have discovered this one but if you haven’t, you must! If you are on any type of spiritual journey or identity journey, I highly recommend Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. Hands down a goosebump, ah-ha type of podcast.

I listen to it on Spotify but I am sure it is on iTunes as well. I pay monthly for my account so I am not sure if the free version offers podcasts. Each morning I have it programmed to play on my Google Home after the weather. It has been an inspiring way to begin my day.

A common denominator that the guests share about being fulfilled in life is through gratitude, love, and compassion. I will be intent on focusing on each of these individually with my target goals but also as a combined practice. Listing three things that I am grateful for in my planner helps keep me mindful throughout the day about the small things in life. I know I need it. Not because I am ungrateful but because I tend to forget about how good I have it.

When I first began Revenge of Eve my tagline was Painfully Privileged. I changed it so that I didn’t come off snobby but that is my truth. I have been fortunate throughout my life, not without pain, and I used that as a snarky tagline but ultimately removed it. My mother has provided shelter for my daughter and I over the course of my adult life. When I was actively drinking I would do good, move out, maintain, and then fall back. She has always been there to catch me and I realize not everyone has this luxury. Some may call it enabling but my Ma is not going to let her granddaughter suffer because of her mom’s choices.

Focus

Most of you are aware that I struggle with focusing. Thanksgiving night I braved the crowd and went to Best Buy with the intentions of getting a phone and walked out with an HP 2n1 Pavilion laptop. Under the setting is a mode called focus. As I have mentioned I haven’t used it yet but January will be the month. I will set the mode for one of my time blocks; 45 minutes. I will report the details in a later post. Fingers crossed it works.

Difficult Decisions

The most significant change I am considering is leaving my job at the casino. It is extremely taxing physically and in order for our shift to operate smoothly all hand must be on deck. We have run into an entitled group of young servers who do not pull their weight making the load for us senior servers too heavy to bear. At my age and with my anger, I am tired, overworked and unhappy.

I am thinking about job hunting at a local bar where it is me I rely on. Being behind a bar is my safe area. It’s me that sets up, serves my guests, cleans and makes my money. So you guessed it. If I am going to be frustrated with anyone it will be myself. I have a loyalty to my managers at the casino and that has been what has kept me there the past week. I have left my shift in complete disarray as of late. The holiday season is grueling on my body and adding the extra weight of immature, lazy 19-23-year-olds, pisses me off. It isn’t necessary. I am prepared to make these difficult decisions this year. It is myself who has to live with what I choose and I trust me now. And that feels good.

I voiced my thoughts to my manager and she asked I hang on a little while longer until she can get new staff on board. I will wait as patiently as possible for the next two weeks.

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As part of my morning routine, I write the thoughts that come to mind. I wrote the above, difficult decisions, before going into work. When I arrived at work my co-worker Dawn said she had something for me. Surprised and not knowing what for my immediate response was why. She knew I had a bad day the day before and she thought a gift bag full of stickers would brighten my day, along with two pair off socks and a cute triangular hanging flag! She was right! It literally made my heart pound that she would do something as sweet as this for me. Her story and mine are strangely familiar and that is what we have built our friendship upon. This gesture added such a kind sense of compassion to our friendship. It is these type of acts of kindness that restore my faith in humanity, a smidget. 😉

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When I Becomes We: Creative Planning

Hey You Busy Bee’s

This will be our last post before the new year arrives! Today we will be discussing breaking our plans down further but also what it means to creative plan. I cannot wait to see what y’all come up with.

By The Hour

If any of you struggle with focusing this will be a great idea for you to try. I have used this technique for about two weeks and my productivity has skyrocketed! It is called block scheduling and it.is.amazing!

The original idea is called the Pomodoro technique. Wikipedia defines it…

“The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. These intervals are named pomodoros, the anglicized plural of the Italian word Pomodoro(tomato), after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer that Cirillo used as a university student“.

Many people have used this technique and have claimed their success on behalf of it. For myself, I choose to block more than 25 minutes because it seems to take me a few minutes to get focused on the task at hand but also for purposes of not having to set multiple timers. I begin a task at the beginning of the hour, work 45 minutes and then the last 15 minutes of the hour is my break between.

Here is an example of what my daily schedule looks like by the hour.

Creative Planning

Creative planning is where people use stickers, art, colored highlights, tabs, charts, specialty stickers, watercolors… Artsy mediums to decorate their plans. There is a crazy creative planning community and I love them! They are very supportive of one another. There are many Etsy shops that cater to this type of planning.

You can purchase printable undated calendars and add them to your system with lots of room for decorating. Each week is decorated in what is called a spread. You can find millions of examples on Instagram. Type planner community into the search bar and watch the beautiful, overcrowded planner pages pop up. This helps a lot of people to dedicate time to their planning and really look at it because let’s face it, a pretty page full of stickers is more welcoming than a blank calendar.

I’m not certain of any specific guidelines for creative planning so I just follow the beat of my own drum and do whatever it is that makes me happy.

I encourage you to do the same. It helps you stay mindful, alleviates stress, reduces anxiety and the results are nice to look at. If you can’t draw, they have stencils you can use. I use journaling cards in mine. I cut them out and glue them to my pages. I mix stickers, magazine clippings, stencils, stamping to create my own style. You should too.

*remember not to compare yours to others*

Another thing I did for this year, I created a vision board. I used the front of the January separator in my planner. The paper is sturdy cardstock that holds up nicely. I added elements that all brought together to show what I want to bring to life in 2019. I am going to do another one June, halfway through the year and see how the two align. I opted to do this to make sure I am staying on target with the three goals originally set.

2019 vision board in my planner

If you have never made a vision board, it is quite simple. It’s basically collaging but with intention. You find words or images that describe what you want to attract into your life and paste them on a poster board or you can do as I did and use the sturdier pages in your planner. I have a few more words I intend to add to mine. Discover must find it’s way on my board, love and a few others will be glued on somewhere.

It is suggested to focus on what you are creating because the energy you put in will be the energy you receive. I didn’t do mine as intently but I did enjoy the process. Will you give it a go? If so, snap a shot and drop it in the comments.

I struggle with focusing and will need to make sure I am staying on track. I painted a reminder sign and framed it. It sits right by my desk and says, “one idea at a time”.

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And now for accountability purposes, here are my three target goals for 2019:

1. Be more present (more specifically, as a mom).
2. Define who I am, using three adjectives.
3. Heal from past hurt and forgive where needed.

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Have you set your three?

Please do share your 2019 goals with me!! I would love to hear them. Are you setting any blogging goals in 2019? I am not setting any blogging goals this year. I will continue to find and develop my voice. I will not have the time to market my blog but I do intend to grow my email list and sell my handmade products. How do you plan to achieve your resolution or goals? Will you be joining me on my journey? If not, share your strategy. I may wanna follow you or borrow a few ideas. Anything helps.

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Ps. I must add to this that I also use digital calendars set with reminders to keep me up to date. I recommend finding your system. The paper and pen technique is something I find calming. It helps keep my attention whereas technology disrupts my course of action.

With my new laptop, there is a focus mode to which you set to decrease distraction from mindless scrolling. I haven’t yet tried it but will come the new year.