Me, Mentally: An Artwork Series

OCD, again

Hey, Hi, Hooooo!! Whaddup, y’all?

In an attempt to overcome my fear of inadequacy, I have begun Me, Mentally, an art series that describes parts of my illnesses that I may be learning to accept, come to terms with, cope…explore.

If you know what’s going on around here, lmk 😉!!

---

Me, Mentally

---

Vogue

When I sat down to create this piece I gave myself permission to use red in a way that accentuates a female.When I create or brainstorm creative ideas, they are generally fashionista inspired. I am an undercover fashion designer but I have settled for a trend setter…meh. It is no secret, Revenge of Eve is the mastermind of an empowered, lost woman.

Personal insight: growing up we were raised to believe that when a woman wears red it connotates that she is a whore. No, shit. I am for real and guess who’s favorite color is red?? One guess. Yup, mine.

We were not allowed to wear red nail polish. Red lipstick…pst get outta here with that, although, I got away with it wearing performance make up for dance (and painted my toenails 😂 I’ve always been a rebel)!

When I enrolled in my second year of college, I wrote a paper on how color is used to represent certain types of people, further supporting my father’s conformity. Color misrepresentation is more common than some realize and for some reason, my quirky brain picked up on this…and obsesses over it.

Me, Mentally

Red and blue are two colors I would never pair. I don’t know if it is because it’s patriotic or what but the colors are not two that I particularly care for. So I did it. I pushed past – what may sound ridiculous – barriers. And guess what?!?!? I LOVE IT!

Me, Mentally

The backdrop is a vintage photo casing. Back in my day…😂😂😂 you would order family photos through a photographer who used hideous carpet and wallpaper to enhance the experience…and charged an arm and leg for the service. This is an 8×10 cover that adorned your order, framing a photo. I will soon add papers to it and make it a notebook/scrapbook/junk journal.

Pushing through fears

It may sound ridiculous to some of you – the wiring of my brain – believe me, I question it too. But when I create, I don’t. I just do and if I am honest, it comes together into something I’ve grown fond of; my style. **I hope to soon have my first series of journals for sale. There will be 12 available. The series is a complete set with the 13th journal in which I will keep. It has been in the process of being made over the course of six months. I cannot wait to present them to you all ready for shipping 🙂

Oh, one more thang…

I’ve hinted toward the possibility of me having a secret and today I am excited to share that, I, have a boyfriend!! 🙂 It’s been scary but he has made the most of helping me through this transition period from single to in a relationship status. I don’t social media as many of you may know so I figured I could drop a few more personal bombs to keep my voice as human as possible.

Introduuuucccing…Nate

Me and my Boyfriend 😍

What does this mean?

The one idea that keeps me drawn to Nate is his persistence that I create. He supports my healing and encourages communication. Yeah, I said that. He is kinda big deal and I haven’t been the easiest – I’m sure that surprises many of you 😉 but…I am learning some extremely ugly truths about myself but I am accepting them for what they are. Having survived a psychologically abusive home, a physically abusive and substance-abusing environment throughout my adulthood, I decided to cut my losses with the attachments I held with these toxic cycles.

My resistance is weakening and my mental capacity is expanding. It is expanding for growth, for wellness, and for non-biased opinions. Cheers to letting my freak flag fly!😂😂😂😂 no, but seriously, I am learning to fit into someone else life whereas it’s been the opposite experience for me. He has cleared out drawer space, a whole room for my creating space, closet and cabinet space…his home; to accommodate me and my presence. Yes, I am in the process of moving into his home. Eek!!

Not that it is necessary but I will calm any fears any of you may be screaming. We have been together for almost three months. No, not extremely long but I have battled the decision to take this leap and live with him and I decided it is a must for him, me, and us as a couple.